Your introduction is sufficient. It thoroughly provides all context necessary for the essay, and I do not feel lost at all after your introduction. Your body paragraphs are fine. You did not write too much. I put your essay through a word counter, and it went out at 957 words, less than the word limit. You should add to your conclusion one final concluding sentence that wraps it all up. It would help if you also expanded how it better understands Esther’s subculture because, in my opinion, it is insufficient, albeit only slightly.
Some improvements you need to make are in grammar. For example, you use “tv” in lowercase instead of uppercase “TV,” or “television,” which is more proper. Also, instead of “10 long seasons” do “ten long seasons,” and “high school” instead of “highschool.” These and more could be solved through extra proofreadings and grammar checkers like Grammarly. The titles, although very good, could be a bit better, “Getting to Know Esther” could be instead “Becoming Friendly with Esther,” “Esther’s Simple Opinions on Friends,” should be “A Friendly Introduction to Friends.” “Esther’s ‘Controversial’ Takes” should be “Esther’s Hot Takes,” the title, “The Impact Friends Had on Esther’s Life,” should be instead, “Friends’ll be there for you,” which is derivative from the Friends intro song. “Conclusion” should remain the same. Finally, you are missing a limitations section, which discusses the limitations of the interview. It should be called: “Limitations: so one told you the interview was gonna be this way,” again derivative on the intro. This section should primarily discuss how Zoom limits the interview’s potential, though it should include other limitations outside of Zoom as well.
That said, the essay was very good. The paper had quotes sprinkled in, not excessive, but existent. The quote, “The most controversial question I had to ask was, ‘were Ross and Rachel on a break or did Ross cheat’? At first, Esther thought that Ross cheated, but she quickly took it back and changed her mind, putting her hands on her head in distress as she thought about it again. After a moment of laughing as she came up with an answer she went, ‘they were on a break. It wasn’t directly stated, but I think they were on a break.’” The quotes are interspersed with thoughts and answers, providing a smooth combination of commentary and quotes, establishing credibility in your paper. I also really liked the flow; even though it looks like a Q & A at first glance, it seemed like a story upon deeper examination, with the detail present, such as the quote, “When it came to Esther’s favorite character, she immediately answered Chandler with no hesitation because he’s very sarcastic and funny.” This quote, without the details, would be bland, but with the details turns it into an exciting journey into Esther’s psyche.
What surprised me was that this paper got me hooked into being interested in Friends, a show that I previously had little to no interest in, showing the efficacy of the essay. What intrigued me was the relationship dynamics in Friends. Why is it even called Friends when they are all in relationships? I am also intrigued if she had any experiences like the people on the show or not, which made her relate to them. What disturbed me is the potential for cheating suggested in the passage as, I dislike infidelity and look down on people for doing it, so the mere suggestion disturbs me greatly.
-Zachary Rosman
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